Things you will never hear me say....

I was talking to my mom this morning on the phone... at the end of the conversation, she said : Well, I spose I should go get ready ( sounds like she was trying to get off the PHONE eh?!?! ) .... anyway.. she said.. I should go get ready, I have a hair appointment today ...

to which I replied: You won't hear ME saying something like that!!

it got me to thinking... what ELSE would you not hear me say?

So whilst I was driving today, and somewhat eratically, ( It's hard to write and drive ) ... I jotted down a few :

These are some things you will never hear me say :

[1] Does that shirt come in Medium?

[2] Has anybody seen the hair dryer?

[3] Boy the price of gas is good eh??

[4] Where's the beer store in this town?

[5] I'll have tea

[6] Got a light?

[7] Just trim the bangs

[8] I can't go to Bible Study tonight.... I'm going out with my girlfriend.

[9] I can't go to Bible Study tonight.... I'm going out with my boyfriend

[10] I'll be back in a while, I'm going to the GYM

[11] Yes, I can give you directions to the beer store!!

[12] Just a little off the top

[13] No thanks, I don't eat sweets

[14] Do you want fries with that??

[15] Can you pass the brocoli?

[16] Jeepers... MORE CLOUD PICTURES????

[17] Isn't that a nice kitty?

[18] Go Leafs Go

[19] Naaa... I'm not hungry

[20] Rats, I'm early again

[21] Man these pants are too big

[22] Boy I miss my office job!

[23] How much for a manicure??

[24] Do you have Low Fat dressing??

[25] Oh Goodie, left overs

[26] Where do you get Clinique in this town?

[27] Will you marry me?

[28] Wanna come over and watch American Idol?

[29] Man I love paperwork

[30] Hey, the Leafs won the cup

[31] I'm getting up early tomorrow

[32] Can you turn the tv down???

[33] THERE.... finally have all the ironing done!

[34] I'm tired of Tim Hortons

[35] I WON

[36] I'm RIGHT!

[37] I'm not bitter!!! Ok, I DO say that one!! but I'm NOT bitter....

ok, i'm tired.... i'll ramble again soon!!:)

Wednesday Photos....

Tuesday Evening.....

Well.... it's hard to imagine that this week is 40% over... jeepers....

Yesterday, I left Brantford just after 10 ... went to Pizza hut in Lindsay for lunch to celebrate my friend Terri's 34th birthday .. jeepers.. I have SOCKS that are older than THAT! ...... Steve and Dawna and Megan were there.... Megan stole the show.. She made short work of Terri's birthday brownie....

I think Terri had every intention of taking it back to the office for an afternoon snack... until Megan sneezed on it...!!!


Then I headed to Port Perry to inspect for the afternoon... Saw this view coming back on 7A - It's the Bethany Hills, from the top of the hill at Yelverton.... kind of overcast, but pretty just the same...

Today I spent the morning working at home, and then headed to East of Lakefield by way of Warsaw ... ( no, not Poland! Warsaw,Ontario, which is about 20 minutes East of Peterborough) ; then back to Bobcaygeon and then Burnt River ... I was all over today, finishing up the last of my last batch ....

On my way I stopped to grab a coffee at a little diner in Warsaw ... The little girl running the counter was uh...
well... TINY for starters... have I told you how much contempt I have for skinny people?

and I'm not saying that she was cute... but , .....

to quote the locals,

"her wuz no wheres near ugly "



anyway.. little-miss-skin-and-bone is getting my coffee ready and she says "Anything Else?"

I'd been eyeing up the butter tarts on the counter.... ok, maybe I'd been more than EYEING them up... I'd picked them up three times, held them in my hand, and then had a moment of silence in honour of the old days when I could EAT those without worrying about going into diabetic shock ( I'm not a diabetic, I'm just getting ready! ) ...

anyway.. I said.. how much are they?

a dollar thirty five...

YIKES....

tiny piddly little tarts ( No, the butter tarts, not the girl!!! ) ..... I'm not paying that much....

No thanks, just the coffee..... how much do I owe you?

$1.35

IS EVERYTHING a dollar thirty five here???? apparently....

so I hand the girl a Ten Dollar bill and she goes....
don't you have thirty five cents?

TSK .......so I dug through my pockets, found a bunch of coins, sorted through them and handed her thirty five cents....



"THERE," she said, "aren't you glad to get rid of all that change?..."



and I said.. YEAH.... now I'll be able to keep my pants up...



she LOOKED at me, smirked ( as only tiny piddly little tarts can ) and said...

oh I'm SURE it's the change in your pockets thats causing your pants to not stay up.....



SHUT UP!



so I'm going to stop there again tomorrrow... on my way to Haliburton..

it's only about 45 minutes out of my way but hey.... the coffee is good!!!

Lucky Me!!!

Yesterday, I was going through some stuff and found a magazine from the fall of 2005 ... when I picked it up, four leaf clovers started falling out.....

I don't know where I found all these... I do remember I found them all on the same day... and stuffed them into a magazine, and stored it under a book to flatten them... check out the two on the right ( middle ) ... they are five leaf clovers....

I got my ability to find them from my mom and from her mom ( Grammie Burns ) ......

It doesn't seem to bring me luck... but I sure love them!!

My Space

well.... I have not changed from Blogspot to My Space... but I do have a "myspace" space....

here's the link to it...

Intolerance

It's a word that didn't get much use when I was a kid.... unless you were referring to Uncle Joe's second cousin Ethel... now SHE was intolerant....



Now though, it usually refers to somebody's inability to withstand peanuts, or dairy products... or something in their system.... for instance, my son's friend Justin is very intolerant of peanuts... ( I know this, cause I made some lovely chocoloate chip cookies one time and inserted peanut butter chips just for a thrill....Justin and his mother were thrilled.... they got home from the hospital somewhere around 4:30 am ) ........



anyway... MY intolerance is not food ( though onions make me WISH I'd been less tolerant ) ..... My intolerance stems from two expectations ( or character flaws ) that I have:



[1] that things should be where I left them; so that when I need them , I don't have to spend hours hunting.... ( did you know that in any given work day, the average North American worker spends nearly an HOUR looking for some lost piece of information, either in written form or electronic?? ) ... I cant' stand that...
Abby and I spent a long time this morning looking for the manual for the Magic Bullet ( one of those blender thingys ) ... so she could make a milk shake... but the manual was NOT where I'd left it ( in the middle of the kitchen table, sometime back in August ) ... I'm blaming the cleaning lady for losing my manual!! )



[2] I'm also overtly intolerant of things that don't WORK.... no, not at a factory job for $8.67 an hour .... but that they should operate properly... the way they were designed to WORK.



for instance... that the "POWER" button on my vcr remote should work...

or that the coffee maker should work properly..... it should shut off automatically, and it shouldn't DRIP when you pour.... burned my tummy this morning, but that's partly cause it was sticking out too far... see how easily I digress?



this has been a frustrating couple of weeks for stuff not working....


****************
Last weekend, my computer wouldn't work properly..... the sound was not functioning, at all, nor was the cd burner..... jeepers.......I didn't want to take it in to have the sound repaired, just in case they wiped it clean ( again ) and I lost all my photos and files.... and I couldnt' burn them to a cd, cause the burner wouldn't work... so I sat here, grumbling in silence....


*****************

Also when I got home a couple of weekends ago, I found my coffee carafe was broken... just a piddly little crack in the bottom corner.... not sure HOW that happened.... ( don't think me nasty, but I'm blaming the cleaning lady for this too!! ) ... I went to get a replacement pot, and couldn't find one.... so to make a long story short, I bought a generic replacement that was the EXACT same height... but didn't fit when i brought it home... I've hunted high and low for a new coffee maker, annoyed that I have to buy an entire new system but not wanting to pay $26.95 just for a special order pot, and then to have to drive to Hamilton to get it... JEEPERS.....

So today, in a state of caffeineless frustration, I went to Sears and bought a Black & Decker mini ( 5 cup ) coffee maker.... $24.95 ... less than a replacement carafe, and it saved me a trip to Hamilton....

But the new pot leaks when you pour ( hence the second degree burns to my protruding stomache ) and.... it takes 312 minutes for the water to filter through... jeepers, I think I need some mood swing meds...

****************

For the past few weeks, my windshield wiper spray nozzle has not been working well.. not at ALL ...... I figured it was the pump.... Monday this week, on my way to Thornton, I went through a bottle and a half of fluid... mucky weather, for starters.. but the pump just wouldn't push the fluid high enough..I kept having to spray LOTS of fluid onto the windshield, and hope enough of it would land above the wiper, and then spread the fluid around with the blades.... it was getting frustrating, but I didn't want to spend the $$ on a new pump.. not yet anyway.....

so anyway... while I was filling the tank for the third time on on Monday, I was standing on the side of highway 400, and I noticed fluid dripping down from the underside of the hood.... I looked closer, and the little plastic pipe running the fluid to the spray nozzles had a huge chunk missing.... whoo ahh... wasn't the pump after all..... So I stopped at the Outlet Mall in Cookstown, and bought a roll of electrical tape for 99 cents and repaired it myself.... I was SO proud of myself!



****************


oh... and my desk chair is on its last legs... I bought this thing in 1998 when I was managing an insurance brokerage in Burlington.... it had a " He's The Manager " kind of look, i felt..... and it has the older style look to it.. I like those better...




anyway... I found out later why they had a $400 chair marked down to $75 !!! ... whoo ahhh....

anyway... when I got uh... downsized, ( that's a story for another day, when I'm not in such an intolerant mood!! ) the chair went to the girl who replaced me....

and ( is this a LONG story paul ????? ) .... SHE kept falling on the floor, cause the casters wouldn't stay in properly...

so she pitched it.... I found out about it, and went and got the chair... and brought it home....

it was a small victory for me... I may have lost my position, but I GOT THE CHAIR, by gum!!!!!



anyway.... the base has long since worn out, and the chair tilts ( even after my friend Russell welded it for me ) ....... plus the castors still fall out ALL the time, inspite of the many layers of duct tape I have around the shafts.....
at any given time, I could be sitting here typing, and in seconds, my chin has smashed the keyboard, and I'm laying on the floor uttering things under my breath...


so the chair is going....but I love this chair... sigh

***************
so I just went to take pictures of the chair... and my camera wouldn't turn on... batteries ( which have been in there for all of one day ) were dead... I forgot to tell you about them.... Panasonic Ni-MH 2300's ..... they have honestly been really good batteries... they normally last 3 full days of inspecting.... I take about 150 - 175 photos per day when I'm working, so these batteries have served me well....
but they're pooched ( I love that word ) ..... for the last month or so, nearly every time I turn the camera on, the "change batteries" sign comes on, and the camera goes dead... I have to open the battery hatch, pull them out, stick them back in, and then the camera will start..... Part of it I think is the cold... standard Alakline batteries function well in the cold, Ni-MH's don't seem to....sigh...

ok.. lets see... anything ELSE that is broken? oh yeah... the hair clippers ( man that sounds funny coming out of my mouth! ).... I bought new hair clippers last fall at the Black and Decker outlet.... I have to use them about every three weeks... I hate paying someone to cut my hair, when it takes about 3 1/2 minutes, with a # 2 buzz cutter.... so I do it myself... and every few weeks, I'll have Anna help me cut the back... so that I don't look like a mutant.... last weekend, I went to trim my beard... and the new clippers would only make a loud buzzing noise... jeeeeeeeeeepers... it's not like they've been over USED.... so this week when I was at the Cookstown outlet mall, I bought new clippers that were onsale... $9.99.... wonder how long THEY will last....

ok.. then...... if you 've read this all the way to the end, .... you will fall into one of two categories...

You're either a VERY loyal friend.....

or you need a life...

hope the rest of your day is wonnnnnnnnnnnerful wonnnnnnnnnerful ( to quote Lawrence Welk )

Lazy Saturday

well it's Saturday morning.... when I was a kid, Saturday mornings used to be my favourite morning..... I spose they still are.... I just don't like ANY morning, really....

and it's getting worse the older I get!

When I was a kid, Saturday mornings were a great thrill... cause I would get to watch cartoons.... I don't suppose that I was only ALLOWED to watch them on Saturday, but that's the only time they were on...... We only had one English channel on our tv ( Channel 3, from Burlington, VT ) ..... and cartoons were hard to come by on Channel 3 .... the two french stations had them weekday afternoons, but I didn't like french cartoons as much...

I particularly loved Fat Albert cartoons when I was a kid... I bought a dvd of 5 of the shows ( hosted by Bill Cosby back then ) ..... it sure was different watching it as an adult.... not quite the same excitement!

Today, Anna is making pancakes, bless her heart... from scratch.... so I think I"ll head up and help myself to some of her homebaking.... you gotta love a kid that, at 15, is more mature than her father!!

Dorset in March

I inspected up North yesterday.... ended up in Dorset for my last two inspections ...
( Dorset is just under 2 hours north of Lindsay and about 45 minutes East of Gravenhurst) ..... very pretty cottage country..... and a little isolated....










































Dorset has an incredible ( World famous maybe ) general store... everything from groceries to canoes, wood stoves, gift items, clothing, work boots.... oh and butter tarts....!!




















I went in, not to buy anything per se... but just cause it's such a cool store.....
but in the end, I bought bananas.... hey... they were 25c for two bundles.... a bargain is a bargain!!




After my last inspection, I headed back East on #117, over to 35, and then south... I passed some guy sitting on the side of the road... half up the hill, just sitting there watching cars going by...


I laughed .. and thought.... "obviously he doesn't have cable!!! "


Within about 5 minutes, it started to rain... pretty heavy at times..... Gas stations are not all that common up there, and the car was on FUMES.... and being typically male, i thought.. naaaaaa, I can make it back at LEAST to Carnarvon ... so I proudly started heading south on 35... 3 or 4 klicks South, and my car literally starts to SPUTTER.... oh crap.....

so I turn around, ( not THAT male huh ? ) ... the only ONLY gas station I had seen in the area was a shell station up highway 117 a ways.... so back I went..... and couldn't find the place... HOW CAN YOU LOSE A GAS STATION??


so I did something ELSE totally non-male... I stopped and asked for directions.... jeepers... And the only guy I could find anywhere........
was Mr-I-Don't-Have-Cable-So-I-Watch-Traffic.....

By now though, he wasn't watching traffic... he was pulling up trees on the side of the highway... with his bare hands...
pretty sneaky huh? sits there like a by-stander ... or rather like a by-sitter, until the traffic is gone, and then proceeds to steal shrubbery from the side of a highway!

Anyway, I got directions...I wasn't even on the right road... jeepers... so back INTO town, down the side street, and there, sure enough was the Shell station that I'd seen... $1.079 per litre... JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPERS..... so I decided to only put $20 in... and then drive to Carnarvon where it is $1.02 .....

Halfway from Dorset to Carnarvon, this red pickup truck pulled out in front of me....and the rain was starting to freeze on the windshield..ugh.... and this dork... jeepers.... pulls out in a RUSH to get onto the highway, and then slows down....

He putts along at 65 or 70 kms.... I watched for a while.... and noticed that it was a couple... and there was some smoochy-woochy going on... every few seconds, they would kiss.... jeeeeeeeepers....



So after I could take 60 kms an hour NO LONGER, and after I'd had all the romance I could stomache, I decided I'd better pass Mr and Mrs Chevromeo......I got to a straight patch of highway, and punched it.... and he scoots up to 110 kms per hour.. I couldn't even catch UP to him to go by.... GRRRR

we went around the next corner, and whooosh.. back down to 70 kms again... time for some more kissing, dontcha know... JEEEEEEEEEEEPERS....

Middle of the next kiss, I lost it... and blew by him like he was standing still.....

I felt like blowing him a kiss but thought because I have Farmers Mutual signs on the side of my car, that maybe they wouldn't actually like that kind of publicity!


SO I pull into Carnarvon..... but thought better of stopping: "I need to put some miles between me and the little red kissing truck;"
besides, gas was $1.05....... so I kept going.... went on to Minden....

I pulled into the Minden Pioneer Gas Station.... and start to fill my car...and GUESS WHO PUTTS IN?? mr and mrs smoochy..... in the lane RIGHT next to me... and he's using the back side of the very same pump as me....

I pulled my hat down, and watched my feet, not daring to make eye contact, afraid that he might say something.....

When he went inside to pay, I was SOO tempted to try to get a glimpse of who his passenger was....I mean, it must be SOME kind of beautiful, if you can't wait til you get home to do all that kissing...

but I was too afraid.....

afraid that it'd be his sister,

or worse... that it might be a man! lol

The rest of the trip home was uneventful.... except for the ice buildup on the car..... today, I'm inside doing paperwork all day..... feels nice to reach some semblance of "caught up!"

Sub Weather

so I'm driving north on Highway 35 yesterday afternoon... and spotted THIS ....

at first I thought it was somebody's dock.. upside down, frozen in.... evidence of a procastinator,

and results of a good big wind storm....

but the more I think about it, I am beginning to think it's a very primitive NORTH style submarine.....

what do YOU think??!!

Early Morning Blur....

so have I said before how much I do not enjoy mornings??? I left today before breakfast, for crying out loud.....

I was driving up the Buckhorn Road.... half dazed.. I left too late to have time to grab Tim Hortons.... so I stopped at the little Country Style drive through at Selwyn... and kept driving....

dopey... sleepy... cranky.... ( several of the dwarfs were with me today... no, WERE me today...)

anyway... I went around the corner just below Buckhorn... and started to notice the sky... it was pinkish, but it was crammed full of airplanes... I actually only saw one plane, but saw several streams of jet exhaust...

It made me stop and think....

First thought..

man there are a lot of planes out at 7:15 in the morning..

Second thought....( after a few minutes )

man, i could NOT be a pilot.... if the planes are already up in the air NOW, imagine what on earth time the pilot had to get up! ( i know.. i'm pathetic !)

Third Thought....( after a few more sips of Doesn't-Even-Come-Close-To-Tim-Hortons Country Style coffee )

there's not five planes up there... it's only ONE!!!!... and the pilot is quite OBVIOUSLY not a morning person... zigzagging all over the sky....

Poor guy... lost, tired...cranky and grumpy.... and dazed....

...probably forgot his briefcase, and had to fly back to Halifax to get it.. then headed for Toronto, only to realize it is a Boston flight.... ... poor guy.....

Fourth Thought ( mid afternoon ) .... I COULD be a pilot

Funny picture

Last September, when I went to Kentucky for the National Quartet Convention, I flew down, and drove back with my folks....

We left there early Sunday morning to come back .... I was riding in the back ...

When we crossed the bridge into Louisville on our way home, the view was incredible.....

I rolled my window down and stuck my camera out.... clicking away... got a few pretty nice shots in spot of the horrific speed my father was driving! ( ok, not really.. with mom there, his speed was pretty well governed! )

anyway.... when I pulled the camera back in to check the photos, here's one that cracked me right up...

There was a cop, apparently, on the side of the road. I'm not sure if he was there for an accident, or if he was directing traffic due to construction...but he was standing on the side of the road minding his own business...

... with all of the blind clicks I took with the camera, this one was the funniest....

weird timing eh?!!

Busy Week

Well... I feel like I am rushing like a head with my chicken cut off this week.... ever seen an inspector with his chicken cut off? it's not pretty!

Had a pretty good weekend....I worked on paperwork most of the day Saturday; then on my way back to Brantford, I met my friend Jenny for supper... She was on her way to Barrie for the weekend, and so we met in the middle.... we had supper at the Rain Forest Cafe.. you HAVE to go there...

It is the neatest place...The entire restaurant looks like a forest... .every half hour, the lights dim, and there's a thunder storm, complete with rain, steam, and apes freaking out!!!

This is Jenny's new boyfriend Arnon... actually, he was our waiter!..... Arnon was nothing short of HILARIOUS..... he had quite a thing for Jenny....

Monday, I inspected in Georgetown and Thornton ( south of Barrie ) ... took this picture of the Queens Hotel in Thornton.. reminded me of a wild west hotel ... cool eh?

....today I inspected in Port Perry, and Tomorrow am in Haliburton, Dorset, and Muskoka....

Dad and I were calculating yesterday.... since October the 3rd, I've put 40,000 kms on this car already..... have to change the oil every 3 weeks.... jeepers ( Ok, i don't, but I'm SUPPOSED TO )

Took this tonight at my last stop.. in Dunsford... sun was glimmering on the snow ... was kinda pretty...

Well....I'm heading to bed..it is now 1:34 AM.... and I have to be in Burnt River ( a 75 minute drive ) for 8:00 am... stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it Storey!!!!!

Getting up before breakfast

My dad is a morning person......... I'm a mourning person..... 12:30 or 1 in the morning, I'm still rattling around, wondering how much more paperwork I can finish, and hoping that when I DO get into bed, that I'll fall asleep.....

My dad, meanwhile, has been in bed for hours already, cause he's up and has half a days' work done before I drag my carcus out of bed in the morning.....

one day, probably back when I was working for him, he said to me : If you're going to get that appointment on time, you'll have to get up before breakfast ( can you feel my angst? ) ....



Reminds me of a joke..... Two old guys were in a nursing home in the lounge, in their wheel chairs facing the tv.... First guy looks over at the other and says :

I'm sooooo constipated.... I can hardly stand it.... I mean, I'm sooo uncomfortable, that ...... and he glances over at his friend and says..

Well... I don't have to tell YOU about this... you know how it feels...



The second guy says : NOPE ... not ME! I'm regular as the SUN coming up...

Every morning at 6:30 ... Just like clockwork!



First guy says : ARE YOU SERIOUS???? oh MAN, that must be nice



Second guy says : not really, I don't wake up until 7



OK THEN... I say all that to say..... I woke up before breakfast today!!!!



( jeez paul... grasping for something to post are we??? )



So I woke up early this morning to pray....

Actually... I woke up cause I had to use the bathroom... and I prayed that I could get back to sleep! is that the same thing??



Anyway.... I'm upstairs, without my glasses on... it's DARK out for crying out loud.... I don't put my glasses on until MORNING....



On my way past the big picture window, I spotted this GORGEOUS sunrise ( there's a first time for everything wendy... shut up!! ) ...















I thought to myself...

" I have to go get my camera.. ( even in a sleepless stupor, I think about my camera... there must be some psychosis involved here ) .....and I have to record the time, cause NOBODY will believe I'm up this early.. it must be what... 4:30 ? 5 maybe..... I KNOW it is before 6 ... oh Steve and Dawna will never believe I was up THIS early.....

I am going to make a big thing about this, on my blog... you know.. to impress all of the morning people freaks.. ( I mean disciplined early risers! )"



So I walked over to the microwave to see what time it was... of course with no glasses on, it's only a blur of red..... so I have to lean down so close that I touch my nose on the keypad of the microwave....



I'm excited to see how early it MUST be... getting more proud of myself by the SECOND..... i mean, there's a sunrise out there, for crying out loud.... ...



and as i finally get close enough to the clock , I read :




7:08


JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPERS.......



Too early to be coherent, too late to go back to bed.... what to do?

got my camera, took a picture, and went back to bed...... hrrrmph!

How to Vacation by the pool..... in the 2000's

so... check out the photo I took from upstairs by the pool when we were in London this week...

......I was taking random photos.... and I happened to glance down to the bottom right corner... check out the couple there.....

Now THAT is how you sit by the pool.... close enough to your MSN chat friends, that you can watch the kids drowning in the pool and still chat ... whoo ahhhhh!!

my only regret was that my laptop battery only lasts 3 1/2 minutes... not long enough for me to walk from my room to the pool!! sigh!

Liar Liar....

so today, I'm sitting by the pool, wearing my very favourite t shirt....

David walks by me... took one look at the shirt.. eyed me up and down and says..... :

"Liar"

Fashion Statement

so.......... when you're on a Florida vacation, in London, and when you have to run to the car to grab something....... lets just say there are problems...

.... you have to put a coat on..... and wearing shorts and a t shirt, and Crocs and a JACKET... really isn't all that flashy..... ( keeping in mind, that when people think DAPPER, my name isn't always the first to come to mind!! )

And people stare...... my kids were mortified that I would go outside looking like that.....

The other drawback, apart from the fashion faux pas.... is that when you go outside, the snow is still piled up around the parking lot... and when you run through it in Crocs, your shoes fill up with slushy icy snow......

so when you come back inside, not only are your leg hairs frozen enough to break off, but your feet are cold and slushy.....oh well.... it serves me right for forgetting my book in the car!!

This afternoon, we did our annual pilgrimage to Forest City Surplus... That store is THE COOLEST store in THE WORLD....... we spent a couple of hours there, and then went to the Masonville mall for 3 hours.... we had a romantic gourmet supper at the food court... and then went to the theatre and watched Wild Hogs.. you HAVE to go see that movie... there were some questionnable parts, but for the most part, it was REALLY funny......

ok, enough ramble... I'm heading to bed!! Vacation tires me right out!!!