Still rambling

Sunday, May 09, 2010

To My Mom .....




"When it comes right down to it, nobody will ever love you like your mom does!"




That was the note I got today from my friend Stephen... who lost his mom 15 months ago.....




he's right..... nobody has or ever will love me like my mom....




I am a product of a loving praying mom!




Thank you Mom!!








The older I get, the more I come face to face with the reality of life.... the frailty of it, and its brevity.




More and more of my friends have lost their mom.... so a day like today for THEM is a sad empty day.....




And even though I wasn't there today to share it with you , I am doing what each of those friends has told me .... Cherish every moment you have with your mom!




I never know where to start when it comes to thanking you for loving me.




Inevitably, I sit and think about it..... I decided today to make a list.... and I found myself making notes on my crackberry during church today...... I'm SURE the pastor thought I was sending text messages !! but I wasn't!




When I sit to think about you, mom... my mind races.... to all of the things that you have done for me.... The memories come flooding back....




I remember when I was just a kid.....coming home early from several Sunday School picnics over at the river by French's farm...... because you had run into the water fully clothed to save a kid that was drowning.....


back then, I felt ripped off because we had to leave before the ice cream cones came out!


NOW?? I look back at that with pride...... that some kid somewhere is alive today because of you!




Though I don't remember , I know that you gave up your job to stay home and raise us kids. After all your training to become a Registered Nurse, it must have been a bit of a let down to change diapers instead of medical dressings..... thank you for that!




I remember you bringing us to visit your uncles when I was just a kid.... I remember with a bit of shame, how boring I found those visits.... boring for us, but sooo cherished by your uncles....
As I get older, i have come to love the memory of those visits.... and am trying to instill in my kids a love for visiting people who sit by, lonely..... waiting.....


I remember you taking a refresher course so you could go back to work .... to help put us through college..... I remember Dad and Bruce eating out a lot of evenings cause you were working .... Wendys', Harvey's, McDonalds and I ALL thank you !!




I remember having a lunch packed for me, every day of my school life..... I remember wondering what on EARTH the word PATE meant..... but as I watched guys like Howie, sitting there, sad and hungry..... I realized pate wasn't all that bad after all!!


I remember playing in the water in the side yard of Sawyerville Elementary..... And I remember spending all afternoon sitting in wet pants..... The next week, I came to school with THE COOLEST pair of home made rubber pants to play in! I was the envy of Jeff and Danny ... when I sat RIGHT DOWN in the puddle and didn't get wet!!




I remember one saturday standing outside the United Church in Sawyerville... somebody in the neighbourhood was getting married.... and we hadn't been invited.... but you really wanted to see the bride come out..... so we hid in the bushes across the street and watched......... ok, I HID in the bushes and watched.... cause I'd spilled ice cream all down the front of my white t shirt....




bushes or not, its one of my favourite memories of a Saturday morning with you!!




I remember always wanting to invite my friends over to our house..... knowing that you would never be upset at me if I came home from church with a few friends in tow.... never once did you complain about having to put out another plate.... or three




I remember you driving up to visit me at camp in Owen Sound that summer I was there.... that horrible summer.... I remember you taking us to Blue Mountain to the water slide.... and how refreshing that was amidst a difficult summer.....




I remember many times at college... when the stress of my life then, felt like it was going to crush me..... I remember walking to the pay phone in Three Hills, and calling you.... and crying my heart out.....




I won't ever forget that....




There just seems to be something soothing about crying on your shoulder.




I remember you letting me take your car to school many many times for band practice..... I remember you giving me your credit card to put gas in that car one day..... what I DON'T remember was leaving the credit card on my dresser..... I remember walking up to the cashier and proudly slapping down my high school ID card as payment.....


I also remember the look in that cashier's eye!!




I remember you laughing, not scolding, when I got home in a panic, and had to race back to the Esso Station on North Front street, to pay the bill and get back the Timex watch I'd left as collateral!!




I remember you sending me cookies in the mail, when I was at Prairie..... I was the envy of every guy on first floor..... I remember that though the cookies were smashed into a bazillion pieces, it gave me more pieces to share.... or more to not HAVE to share maybe!!




I remember you letting me use your car when I got a summer job during college.....
I don't EVER remember you complaining about being stuck at home with no vehicle.




I remember inviting almost 3o of my chinese friends out for a BBQ after high school graduation.... I was proud then , and I'm proud NOW to bring people to visit my parents.
I remember laughing with you!
I remember when you moved into the house on Airport parkway....... Somebody that was helping with the move, brought a big old Tractor Chain out of the truck.... wondering if it should go in the shed, or the basement or the garage, he said : Marg, where do you want THIS???
I remember gasping as I heard you say with a giggle..... take THAT to the bedroom!
I remember coming in to see you last year and hollering from the front dooor
" Anybody HOME???
and you saying... NOPE....!!
When I got my boots off and came over and hugged you , I said...
" so, how are you REALLY? and your answer, again with the giggle, was....
I don't know.. NOBODY's HERE remember????"
Cherished, treasured memories I have, mom!!

When I think of you, I think of a selfless, never complaining woman.... who's lot in life has been far more difficult than any of us will ever know.....




When I saw you this week, preparing supper from your leather rocking chair, almost unable to breath, I realized what a gift God gave us, in you.....




When you told me that you use up 1500 calories a day just to breathe.... it took MY breath away.




I know lately, to quote Rusty Goodman..... You've got leavin' on your mind...... and I don't blame you...




I don't think any of us could have ever managed the pain and the suffering you have, with any where near as much quiet, and calm , and class as you!




So.... for the sacrifice you've made, to care and love and always be there,


from the bottom of my heart,

thank you


I love you mom


2 Comments:

At May 17, 2010 12:46 AM , Blogger Rosebud said...

I don't know how anyone could read this and not have a tear in their eye and say Wow! I envy you Paul...I hope someday my kids will have half of those kind of memories with me...you are surely blessed!m

 
At December 29, 2011 7:12 PM , Blogger Pebble Princess said...

Paul, I just checked in to see if you had written here lately, and look what I found! Do you remember writing this for your Mom? Happy New Year!

 

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